First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes ... oh boy oh boy (or girl)

The baby in the baby carriage

                   One of the greatest pleasures in life is finding that one true love that will be by your side until worlds end, I hear there is no greater love until you hold your baby in your arms. As I announced this week to the Internet world Baby Martinez is on its way, I can't help but smile as I await the arrival of my little one alongside my amazing husband. 

@MissLissetteG

So how did this happen exactly...LOL I think we know how it happened ;) ... all I know is God works in mysterious ways. I am so thankful for my little peanut to keep me focused on the beautiful things in life.

There's one thing that has weighed on me... I know we shouldn't question The Lord about the obstacles he gives us, but I feel in my heart it was Lilo's time to go to allow for my baby's life to grow.

You see when Lilo got sick at first it was the most devastating thing that has EVER happened to me, aside from my grandmother's passing when I was 8 years old, seeing Lilo almost die and return that one night was the scariest thing in my life. I was pregnant when it happened, and I had no clue. I was so shaken up about it, I drank some Balvenie (scotch) to calm me down, I could not sleep for about 3 days, I felt fine. I spent all night keeping an eye on Lilo and making sure she was fine, which she was. No sign of heart failure, just "a heart murmur" the vet said.

A week later I find out the good/surprising news, I'm Pregnant! I think "wow" just "wow" and then I got so excited! :) Well then Jason gets excited, then we freak out, then we celebrate, then I cry and laugh and cry again and then I say "WOW MY HORMONES!"
But now Lilo starts going down hill, I see her getting worse, slowing down, and then heart failure. Within a month of "it's a heart murmur" it becomes heart failure. I tried to keep my pregnancy a secret, just to be sure it was going to happen, but I had to tell someone other than my husband. I needed someone to keep my strong and not let me crumble when Lilo would leave me. I need someone to snap me out of any depression or craziness I might go through.

A normal sunbathing day.

Of course I rush Lilo here and there trying my best to save her, all while also keeping myself composed as morning sickness, anemia, and fatigue set in. But her final day came, her last breath in my arms as she sat in her favorite spot of the house, where she would sun bathe, only this time she knew it would be her last day sitting there.






I sat on the ground with her and pulled her face close to mine, I looked right into her eyes as she looked back at me, and she went limp. No gasp for air, no whines, nothing, just My Lilo was gone, as my little peanut grew, and to this day I feel in my heart Lilo knew there was a baby in me, and that I would be alright.

The reason for me telling you this is for another reason, why I believe The Lord listens to us and is always present in our lives. When I got Lilo 12 years ago she was born on May 31st, my grandma's death anniversary, my baby is "due" on the 31st of July,  Lilo gave birth to her babies in July. I always said to myself I won't have babies until my baby Lilo is gone, and so it happened. Too soon, yes, but God's timing is perfect. I'll be 30 in May and I'm ready for my new life. I'll always love my Lilo.

                                                 

First Tri coming up next!